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LÉLIO |
LÉLIO Heavens! I am still alive!... Then it is true, after all! Life, like a serpent, has crept into my heart again, to rend it anew... But, even though that treacherous poison deceived my despair, how could I survive that dream;... whence took I the strength to withstand the crushing power of that iron hand which seized me?... The scaffold, the judges, - hangmen, soldiers, - the screaming mob, and the ponderous, measured tread of those merciless feet beating upon my heart like the sledge-hammer of the Cyclops... And then, that inexorable melody, which haunted me even through the lethargy of my sleep, recalling that image which time had almost effaced from my memory, to revive my slumbering sorrow and suffering... To see her, - hear her, - cruel, - cruel! hers soft, fair features distorted by atrocious irony; the melody of her sweet voice changed to that of howling Bacchanalian; then the awful sound of those bells ringing a death knell; - that death-chant, diabolically impious yet savouring of church and religion, borrowed, as it were, by the powers of Hell, from above to be made a blasphemous parody of!... And yet it was she, she herself, yet not herself, wearing that impenetrable smile, and leading on the infernal dance around my grave. What a night of horror! Oh, how I must have writhed and groaned under the torments I endured. - Did Horatio hear me? - I wonder. - No, no, - for here is the letter I wrote and left for him, - my last farewell; had he been here, he would have taken it and kept it... Poor Horatio! I imagine I still hear him playing most divinely, seated calmly at this piano, but yesterday, while I sat here writing him this last farewell... He knew nothing of the suffering and torments that racked and rent my heart, naught of my awful resolve; with that beautiful, sweet voice of his, he, the poet as yet untouched by cruel passions, was singing his favourite ballad: |
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